Ok Its Monday and a Jokes in order:::

[Rat4020]

Like da title sayz

Demcat Brainstormin

I have nothing too add

[Up north]

Like da title sayz

Demcat Brainstormin

I have nothing too add

LOL!!! Rat where do you find this stuff?

[Trouble675]

That pic is proof that cranial-rectalitis is highly contagious.

[TALON]

Aw Rod that is wrong man,but funny.

Ok my turn , a bit of radio shenanigans from the great Guido Hatzis mate !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bspGIWOWl-k

[TALON]

A little more .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz2zYsuCPCQ

[Rat4020]

LOL!!! Rat where do you find this stuff?

I guess I gotz friends in low places

[TALON]

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People --

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack...

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister,
Or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over
In 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires
Only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

If someone forgets to invite you,

He or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

Everything on your face stays
Its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years,
Even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes --
One color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter
How your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice
Concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives

On December 24 in 25 minutes.

___________________________________

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YEP!!!

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

[fabdaddy]

Roflmfao

[Rat4020]

Au Garth it aint monday Dude. LOL But thats funny shit man and sooooooo true Kinda words ta live by

[Rat4020]

Do ya play poker ?

Read this ALL

Two couples were playing poker one evening.
Joe accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any panties!
Shocked by this, Joe upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Joe went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything under the table that you liked?' Surprised by her boldness, Joe admitted that, well indeed he did.

She said, 'Well, you can have some of it but it will cost you $500. 'After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Joe confirms that he is, indeed, very much interested.

Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Joe didn't, Joe should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Joeshowed up at Bob's house at 2 p.m. sharp - and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and, to their mutual enjoyment, spent the afternoon closing their transaction, as agreed.

Afterwards, a very spentand satisfied, Joe quickly dressed and left..

As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And
upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Joe come by the house this afternoon?'

With a lump in her throat Sue answered 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.'

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?'

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.'


Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'


Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player