Ok Its Monday and a Jokes in order:::

[Rat4020]

Man storms into a bar with his gun drawn. He screams"who slept with my wife!" Bartender laughs and says, "you don't have enough bullets".

[Rat4020]

My dog was licking his nutz .
A friend said I wish I could do that.
I said you better pet him first, he's kinda mean.

[boilermaker]

Did you hear about the Midget that went to see the Doctor because his nuts had a rash and were very painful. So the Doctor has him to get on the exam table and drop his pants . Then had him stand on the table and turn his head and cough while holding his finger next to his nuts, then repeats on the other side. He then reaches behind himself for a pair of scissors .He told the midget not to look and then, snip, snip, snip, snip. There that didn't hurt did it ? Don't look yet and he went snip, snip, snip, snip. OK put your pants back on and walk around the room. The midget puts his pants back on and jumps down and walks around the room, then he smiles. Doctor , what did you do? Doctor says, I cut two inches off the tops of your cowboy boots !!!

[boilermaker]

Two Doctors walking down town were have a friendly argument about who was the better Doctor when they spotted a man coming toward them, walking with a limp. Dr.Brown said i can tell you right now this man has a lower back problem. Dr.Jones said ,no he has a foot problem. They decided to ask the man who was right, so they stopped the man and told him about their diagnosis ,then ask which of them was right. The man looked at them both and said," That makes all three of us wrong, because i thought i only had to fart".

[boilermaker]

Sailor just got off the ship on shore leave and just wanted two things, to get drunk and find a whore.He found a bar easily and after drinking too much he decides he better find some girls. The barkeeper told him to go two blocks to the right and one block to the left to a whore house called' The red place". Well the drunk sailor went two blocks to the left and one block to the right and looked all around , then saw a red building, thinking that must be the place, but why is there a sign saying, Dr.Black Podiatrist . He staggers inside and sees a pretty girl behind a desk and she says, come in the examination room, the Doc will be in to see you in a minute, just put it on the table. Well the sailor thinks maybe they are checking for VD, so he puts his tool on the table. He's standing by the table with tool on table when the nurse opens the door for the Doc. She shrieks,"Thats not a foot"! Sailor looks up and says," Well lets not quibble over a few inches".