View Full Version : Don't ride with this guy!

04-10-2016, 05:16 PM
Last time I got together with Flyer was out at the MBN gathering east of the Salton Sea. Jesse was ripping along in his XP1K four seater and dusted my butt in the whooped out trails. I finally come up on him and he's standing there looking at his new XP laying on it's side. I thought he'd yard saled himself through a particularly rough set of whoops but no, I was incorrect. He'd realized that I was lagging behind so he made a slow speed sharp right hander to look for me and his XP decided it was tired and wanted to take a nap. No harm (other than some bodywork, scratches and a bruised ego), no foul. First time he's rolled a four wheel vehicle, if I recall correctly.

Yesterday Flyer and Justin (JD66) showed up to pick up the Dez (JD has a new race car!) and to take in some desert scenery.

We grabbed breakfast and then head out into the dirt.

I have a thirty mile or so long loop that runs through a beautiful little canyon (it's just wide enough to fit an XP900 through, barely) and is a total blast to ride. The first three miles or so is on some fun, medium fast wide single track. I blew past one of the crossings and as I got back on the right trail Jesse and Justin come rolling up. I asked if my pace was good and how everything was going. It was typical slide both wheels loose, but still really good conditions. (a year ago the slick conditions made my bunghole grab hold of the seat - now it's fun.) Jesse makes some comment about having to keep it dialed down a bit as every bush out there seems to want to eat his non-hand guarded hands. My response was "Wait until we get into the canyon - it's a bush bumper." We fire back up and head on towards the power line road.

Once we get to the power lines I stop and tell them "Be really careful about the whoops through here until we get through the fence. There are some wicked square edged groups, but after the fence it's fast and fun." There's one section in particular that's nasty and it scared the living crap out of me on one of my first times over it.

I get the okie-dokie from Jesse and Justin and off I head. The fence is about half a mile or so from this point, so a little restraint and then get on it.

About two miles or so down the whooped out power line road I slow down and look over my shoulder to see where Flyer and JD are, expecting to see dust trails a few hundred yards or so behind me. It's clear and there's nobody there. Hmmm.... The it hit me like a ton of bricks - closed my eyes for a minute and I knew EXACTLY where Flyer was laying... Damn.

I turned around and started back at a fairly timid speed - last thing I wanted to do was have a head on. Once I was able to see a bit farther down the road, it was hammer down.

I got through the fence and about a quarter mile down the road I can see a gathering of people. A quad a few bikes and people milling about. Yup, there's Jesse, sitting on the ground with his shirt and helmet off, a shirt wrapped around him like a sling and two guys helping him stand up.


That dreaded set of square edged whoops had consumed what I'm guessing is "another victim". They're spaced perfectly so that the first square edge spits the back tire up and drops the front end right into the face of the third one. From there it's either be lucky like I was my first time through them or be eaten, like Jesse was his first time through them.

Turns out that Jesse decided to look back to see where Justin was just as he entered the whoops. He said that he turned around to look for Justin, turned back around just in time to see the whoops, got sideways in them and then did the big high side (while running 4th gear speeds). Justin says he saw pretty much the same thing.

I have to give the crew that had rolled up on the scene huge amounts of credit. I'm guessing that it was three generations out riding and it was a couple of the kids' first rides ever. They were level headed, more than willing to help and made the whole adventure just that much better. I figured we'd get him back to the road and then on to the hospital from there. Even though they'll probably never read this, "THANK YOU for the help!"

I reached down into my pocket to call my better half, Robyn, and realized that the zipper was open and my phone was no longer a passenger. Damn. Seeing that the crew had everything in order, I turned around and headed back down the power line road to see if I could find my iPhone with out the app. I was able to move along at a higher speed than the posse and knew I'd be able to catch back up with them. I got to where I stopped on the trail to wait for the guys earlier and nothing. No phone. Crap. Must have lost it on the single track. Turned around and headed back thinking "great, hospital first, then go home grab the iPad and an XP and come back searching." Low and behold, just a few hundred yards from the fence (good whoop side, not bad whoop side) there's my phone, face down in the dirt on the backside of a whoop (imitating Jesse?) - which is why I missed it on the way out.

I grabbed it, put it in my pocket and zipped it up this time. I got to the group just as they got to an access point to the riding area and let them know I'd call for a transport. I called Robyn let here know where we were and she headed our way. I then headed on back to the parking area and grabbed the van.

Robyn arrived at the 'extraction point' about the same time I did with the van. We got Jesse prepped for an ER run and Justin and I got everything loaded up. Justin, Jesse, Robyn and I all decided that Justin and I would head back to the house and get all the Dez stuff loaded and then we'd see where he was as far as his ER visit was going.

It would appear that Robyn and Jesse's wife are now new friends. Robyn must have spent quite some time on the phone with her, keeping her calm and letting her know that she didn't need to come running out to Phoenix. Heck, it was only a collar bone... He did bump his head and was having some issues finishing thoughts, but overall, he was good.

The hospital got Jesse in process of evaluation and he told her to head on home. Justin and I met her for lunch and then he and I headed to the hospital to check on our downed dirt brother.

All the scans, pokes and prods revealed that he'd only broken his collarbone. He said that his hip and his spine between his shoulder blades were hurting and the doc said none of that showed any damage. Cool there.

The next thing was funny - The doc starts in about how he's going to need surgery to make sure he doesn't loose any "movement ability".

I, of course, start right up "No he doesn't! He'll be fine. Just go to Walgreens and get one of those stupid figure eight braces and put it on." She responds back about how he NEEDS to have it fixed, it was a bad break. Once again, because I can't be quiet when it comes to broken collarbones (six times left, four right) say "Nope, in fact, if you can get it to heal without joining, it's better!" She looks at me like I'm crazy. I show her my left shoulder which has a Z shaped collarbone and then show her my right side which has two half collarbones that are no longer attached and tell her that my mantra in the dirt is "Land on the right shoulder! I can't break it again and it's not affected my ability to do anything. In fact, the last three times I've broken one I've not even gone to the hospital". She just shakes her head and laughs at me.

She tells Jesse that he'll be ready to leave the hospital in a few so Justin and I head back to the house so he can gather up everything and then head back to the hospital and pick Jesse up. All good. Justin did say that he was leaving feeling ride-unsatisfied and I had to agree. I think Jesse was probably feeling this way a lot more than we were. We'll have to try it again this fall. NO looking back while riding, though.

I got a couple comical text messages a few hours later while J & J were on the road - pain killers were making Jesse pretty happy. Justin denies the comment about a wearing a skimpy nurse's outfit for Jesse's sake...

Justin texted me this morning saying all was good, Jesse was home and the ride had come to an uneventful end other than some serious rain after he dropped Jesse off.

A comical aspect of the day around Jesse's Camelback:
As we were getting prepped, Jesse asks if anyone's seen his e-cig. No, not seen it. He starts digging around in his Camelback (I thought it was a back pack - never seen one that big) and suddenly he lets loose this "Ah crap! WTF?" Seems his son had left a banana in one of the pockets quite a while ago and he'd just located said rotten banana.
When Robyn met us for lunch, Jesse texted us and asked about his wallet (Robyn had it) and his e-cig. She said something about it being in his back pack and then said that there was something funky smelling in the car. Justin and I cracked up - she was smelling the rotten banana.

Next time Jesse wants to ride with you, just say no, don't take any bananas from him and tell him not to look behind him unless he's sitting still.

So there's the tale of another adventure in the desert to put in the books.

Heal up my friend and we'll do it again but we won't include any ER trips.

04-10-2016, 06:55 PM
Heal up Buttercup! LOL!

Bummer dude! Ive only done the same collar twice, so I'd say K' is the authority!

Thanks for the ride report K'.

04-10-2016, 08:10 PM
I have only broken 1 collar bone. Since then I have learned to tuck and roll. For someone that crashes as much as I do, it is a good skill to have........

04-11-2016, 12:47 AM
I just noticed this was in the crash and burn section!

Oh yeah, and congrats to Justin on his new wheels!

04-11-2016, 04:13 AM
Haha! Great write up! Tuck and roll was never going to happen. That damn square hit sent the back end sailing. I panicked revved and tried to get it turned enough to lowside it but it wasn't going to happen. High side whip right into the same damn square bumps. Oh well. Got hurt doing something I love so no biggie.

The wife is on a bit of a rampage with the bikes. She just doesn't understand that sometimes shit happens. I've been hurt quite a few times and the majority of the times I did get hurt were situations just like this. Cruising and learning an area. We weren't pushing it at all. Just a nice Saturday ride enjoying the company and views. And man are there some views! It's unbelievably gorgeous out there. The only problem with all that beautiful foliage is that it's covered in spikes... Long spikes!!

K I honestly don't have the time to wait for it to heal up. I'm hopefully going to get it screwed together on Tuesday and go from there. I'm heading to the islands in a month and dealing with a stupid healing collar bone is going to ruin the trip.

I've crashed good twice this year. Both with K. I'm blaming him!!! :D

04-11-2016, 10:47 AM
Cool write up K. Shame the ride was cut short it is fantastic out there.

Jesse txt me a hospital bed selfie as we were rolling the car off the trailer at the races Sunday,wasnt the best news to start a day in the dirt.Glad it was a collar bone only and nothing too bad.

Congrats on the Taz Justin ,such a cool ride.

04-11-2016, 04:09 PM
Nice write up Richard. Seems there's never a dull moment!

Did everyone notice Flyer's new status "Wizard's Broken Apprentice" haha!

Thanks guys, I'm excited about the car! Great way for me to get into racing.

04-12-2016, 01:02 PM
Wow, what a write-up! Cool to see you are okay, and in good spirits. Also cool to see you got a new ride Justin! WAY COOL! This site gets better and better all the time!!Justin

04-12-2016, 09:58 PM
e-cig? you vape bro?