Thread: The Man Rules

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    The Man Rules
    #1
    Keeper of the Asylum K-fab's Avatar
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    The Man Rules
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
    Finally, the guys' side of the story.

    We always hear " The rules" from the female side, now here are the rules from the male side.

    These are our rules!

    Please note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

    1. Men are NOT mind readers.
    ( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE )

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports or news; it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1.. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one :
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Cars.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.

    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
    Last edited by K-fab; 10-19-2012 at 12:51 AM.
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    Re: The Man Rules
    #2
    Senior Member ironknot's Avatar
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    How long do you expect hostilities to last. If its written, what the shelf life.
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    Re: The Man Rules
    #3
    The Bob Ross of MBN Bullnerd's Avatar
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    I like numbers 1 and 1.....

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
    "Speed is time-time is speed"-Dennis Hopper

    Quote Originally Posted by TALON View Post
    did you use a special bigfoot camera or something ,you know all blurry could be a tree stump kinda thing .
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    Re: The Man Rules
    #4
    Intense Moderator Rat4020's Avatar
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    I like # 1 if yu think your Fat 'Don't ask you probably are
    The question is not if its gona roll. Its when ..

    That be some kind of church cruzzer or commuter bike thingy ?
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    Re: The Man Rules
    #5
    Millenium Member
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    I love that since they're all #1 I dont have to remember an order since no rule is more important. And if you have any ??? about rules see #2.
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    Re: The Man Rules
    #6
    Bend-Tech Dragon Master
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    Neat.
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    Re: The Man Rules
    #7
    Seņor Banned Member Chikin's Avatar
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    I just read this out loud again to my wife.
    She knew about 5 of them already because I preach that to her a lot. (Directions and such)


    Classic.
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    Re: The Man Rules
    #8
    Senior Member
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    Haha! Those are awesome! I'm a little to scared to read them aloud

    Somewhere it's been said, I'd like to add another:

    #1: If you ask us to do something, we'll do it.
    We don't need to be reminded every 6 moths about it
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    Re: The Man Rules
    #9
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    too long but anyway too good....
    Gomez
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