Actual Word Perfect help line conversation

[suicidaltendencies]

????????????????????? Actual call centre conversations !!!!

?

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This
is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to
say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now
I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: ? ? ? ? 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator: ? ? ? ? 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
sudden the words went away.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? 'Went away?'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?'They disappeared.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?'Nothing.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? 'Nothing??'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
type.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'

Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?'How do I tell?'
Operator: ? ? ? ? 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: ? ? ? ? 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
accept anything I type.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?'What's a monitor?'
Operator: ? ? ? ? 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like
a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 'I don't know.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? ?'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ?'Yes, it is.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 'No.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? ?'Well, there are. I need you to look back there
again and find the other cable.'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? ?'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 'I can't reach.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? ?'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 'No.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? ?'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
lean way over??'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? ?'Dark??'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only
light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 'I can't.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? ?'No? Why not??'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: ?'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in??'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: ? ? ? ? ? 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store
you bought it from.'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: ? ? ? ? ? ?'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I
tell them??'
Operator: ? ? ? ? ? ?'Tell them you're too f---ing stupid to own a
computer!!!!!'?

[Andy_1972]

LMAO lol. There is a little "code" I used when people used to ask me dumb shit like this. I would say "damn....that sounds like a picnic" Picnic means.....Problem In Chair, Not In Computer.

[suicidaltendencies]

Originally Posted by Andy_1972\";p=\&quot

LMAO lol. There is a little "code" I used when people used to ask me dumb w00ter like this. I would say "damn....that sounds like a picnic" Picnic means.....Problem In Chair, Not In Computer.

*I like the acronym (picnic), I will be using that one. *

[zunooo]

LOL!!

Originally Posted by Andy_1972\";p=\&quot

LMAO lol. There is a little "code" I used when people used to ask me dumb w00ter like this. I would say "damn....that sounds like a picnic" Picnic means.....Problem In Chair, Not In Computer.

I heard a comic refer to people like this as '12 o'clock Flashers.' *Every clock in their house is flashing 12:00.

[masterfabr]

I LOVE it!!! Sounds like some of the stupid SOB's that come into my lumberyard.I call them STUPID because they know it ALL yet don't know the difference between a finish nail and a framing nail and won't admit it.I don't mind ignorance but stupidity really annoys me.

[zunooo]

Here is a link to the comic's performance. *His name is Wes Borg. Funny!!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=oI2xK6zbaoI

[buggyfreak34]

[buildstoys]

This story has been going around for years with so many variations I doubt it happened.