MiniBuggy.Net: The Ultimate Off-Road Buggy Community

Go Back   MiniBuggy.Net: The Ultimate Off-Road Buggy Community > :::General Discussion::: > The Joke Box - Jokes And Humor Corner

The Joke Box - Jokes And Humor Corner Got a joke you want to share? Post it here. Please keep them PG-13 or better.

Reply
Old 10-19-2012, 07:48 AM   #1 (permalink)

Administrator
 
K-fab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ. Finally in the desert!
Posts: 7,231



Default The Man Rules

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear " The rules" from the female side, now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE )

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports or news; it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one :
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
__________________
Yellow Dog Racing

Last edited by K-fab; 10-19-2012 at 07:51 AM..
K-fab is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 10-19-2012, 08:01 AM   #2 (permalink)

Senior Member
 
ironknot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Birdwoodton
Posts: 317



Default Re: The Man Rules

How long do you expect hostilities to last. If its written, what the shelf life.
__________________
Thanks Ironknot


ironknot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2012, 12:09 PM   #3 (permalink)

Senior Member
 
Bullnerd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Cream Ridge ,NJ
Posts: 6,237



Default Re: The Man Rules

I like numbers 1 and 1.....

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
__________________
"Speed is time-time is speed"-Dennis Hopper
Bullnerd is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2012, 12:50 PM   #4 (permalink)

Senior Member
 
Rat4020's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Cold Spring MN A meer 18 hrs & 100 gal Uf Fuel To St Anthony
Posts: 2,973



Default Re: The Man Rules

I like # 1 if yu think your Fat 'Don't ask you probably are
__________________
Got it

My channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/tazapex
Rat4020 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2012, 01:22 PM   #5 (permalink)

Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: NW Georgia
Posts: 2,016



Default Re: The Man Rules

I love that since they're all #1 I dont have to remember an order since no rule is more important. And if you have any ??? about rules see #2.
CARLRIDDLE is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 10-20-2012, 04:31 AM   #6 (permalink)

Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Coos Bay, 10 miles from the OREGON DUNES!
Posts: 1,291



Default Re: The Man Rules

Neat.
JGSturbo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2012, 05:06 AM   #7 (permalink)

Senior Banned Member
 
Chikin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: 220 miles east of Glamis>>>Aka North Phoenix Az
Posts: 3,594



Default Re: The Man Rules

I just read this out loud again to my wife.
She knew about 5 of them already because I preach that to her a lot. (Directions and such)


Classic.
Chikin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2012, 05:45 PM   #8 (permalink)

Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Bozeman, Montana
Posts: 333



Default Re: The Man Rules

Haha! Those are awesome! I'm a little to scared to read them aloud

Somewhere it's been said, I'd like to add another:

#1: If you ask us to do something, we'll do it.
We don't need to be reminded every 6 moths about it
skreikem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-07-2013, 07:04 AM   #9 (permalink)

Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1



Default Re: The Man Rules

too long but anyway too good....
__________________
Gomez
gomez000123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Racing Cost & Information for each Class. TutTech MiniBuggy.net Lounge! 10 08-18-2014 05:00 AM
Formula Desert Lites pride_in_motion Class Development 53 07-23-2013 04:22 AM
More examples for rules that may help. opsled Class Development 1 09-20-2007 11:26 PM
Getting Started on Stadium Lite Rules K-fab Class Development 22 09-20-2007 12:10 AM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:06 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

SEO by vBSEO 3.2.0 RC7