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http://www.minibuggy.net/forum Got a joke you want to share? Post it here. Please keep them PG-13 or better. en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:57:55 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.minibuggy.net/forum/images/lustrous/misc/rss.jpg http://www.minibuggy.net/forum http://www.minibuggy.net/forum/joke-box-jokes-humor-corner/11923-how-get-heaven-scotland.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:32:18 GMT How to get to Heaven from Scotland... I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting... How to get to Heaven from Scotland...



I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday
school class to see if they understood the
concept of getting into heaven.


I asked them, "If I sold my house and my
car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my
money to the church, would that get me
into heaven?"


"NO!" the children answered.


"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed
the garden and kept everything tidy, would
that get me into heaven?"


Again, the answer was 'No!'


By now I was starting to smile.


"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and
gave sweeties to all the children, and
loved my husband, would that get me
into heaven?"


Again, they all answered 'No!'


I was just bursting with pride for them.


I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"













A six year old boy shouted,

"Yuv goat tae be feckin' deid"
Kinda brings a wee tear tae yir e'e... ]]> The Joke Box - Jokes And Humor Corner Hambone http://www.minibuggy.net/forum/joke-box-jokes-humor-corner/11923-how-get-heaven-scotland.html http://www.minibuggy.net/forum/joke-box-jokes-humor-corner/11868-pretty-little-jewish-princess.html Sat, 31 Oct 2009 10:05:22 GMT A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the... A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress...."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more BMW in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Moishe?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.



"Ours is prettier," she replies... ]]> The Joke Box - Jokes And Humor Corner Hambone http://www.minibuggy.net/forum/joke-box-jokes-humor-corner/11868-pretty-little-jewish-princess.html http://www.minibuggy.net/forum/joke-box-jokes-humor-corner/11841-gods-country.html Wed, 28 Oct 2009 20:16:41 GMT An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. He bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando , thinking that he... An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.



He bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando , thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North .



On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call' .





The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for .

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God .



The American thanked the priest and went along his way .



Next stop was in Atlanta . There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same sign under it.



He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was .



She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God .



'O.K., thank you,' said the American .



He then travelled all across America , Africa, England , Japan , New Zealand . In every church he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same '$US10,000 per call' sign under it. .



The American decided to travel to Scotland to see if Scots had the same phone .



He arrived in Scotland and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same looking golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '20 pence per call.'



The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign .



'Father, I've travelled all over the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches . I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them price was $10,000 per call . Why is it so cheap here?'



The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Scotland now, son - it's a local call' . ]]> The Joke Box - Jokes And Humor Corner Hambone http://www.minibuggy.net/forum/joke-box-jokes-humor-corner/11841-gods-country.html